The Gates of Hell!

Unfortunately…………the four to five hours of rest did not help one bit; in fact I woke up feeling even worse! I had the chills, a very upset stomach and had an absolute splitting headache. It became clear the food at the roadside teahouse had exacted its revenge on me. However, as horrible as I felt, I somehow needed to make it to the Mary Airport and back “home” to Ashgabat.

The Turkmen President staring @ me!

So, I got up, gathered my stuff and somehow stumbled my way to the Mary Airport with my guide. The airport was an absolute cluster f*ck and as I walked on to the tarmac I felt so lightheaded I nearly passed out. I’m not sure how I survived the hour flight to Ashgabat. As I sat there in utter pain there was a large portrait of the almighty President positioned at the front of the plane staring down at me! Damn, I thought, at least I don’t have to have surgery performed by Mr. President. Cold comfort, though!

When I got to my hotel I luckily realized I had brought with me a six-day course of anti-biotics for exactly this type of situation. Since all the usual over the counter stuff were proving to be worthless, I decided I might as well take the first day’s course.

Let this be a reminder to everyone and anyone reading that before leaving for a big trip abroad you should always bring medication for traveler’s diarrhea, food poisoning and any other “bugs” that may try to hitchhike home in your body! For Americans, be sure to visit the Center for Disease Control website where you will find up to the date information regarding proper preparation for any nation you intend to visit: http://wwwnc.cdc.gov/travel/

The next morning I woke up feeling ok, yet ok was a lot better than I had felt the night before. My time in Ashgabat was short as that afternoon we were driving 163 miles north to the village of Derweze, home of the infamous Darvaza Gas Crater aka The Gates of Hell. I felt it was rather appropriate to be visiting The Gates of Hell since the night before had been a living hell for me.

Looking directly into the gas craters

Our plan was to drive three hours up to the village where the gas craters were located. There our driver, my guide and I would have a barbeque dinner or what is known in Russian as shashlik and then set up camp for the night. As we drove up the nearly empty highway, my guide started to glance on his mobile phone at the weather report for that evening. He reported to me there was a chance of rain and snow mixed with temperatures dropping well below freezing that night. Since he already had a horrible cough and I was still recovering from my food poison drama, we felt it’d be best to stop there, but not camp.

Turkmen Jeep crossing

On our way up I hardly noticed any signs of life except for the occasional “Turkmen Jeep”, otherwise known as a camel and lots and lots of rolling sand dunes. About an hour or so into our journey to The Gates of Hell, it was time for a prayer break! No, we were not stopping to pray for salvation before we entered hell, we stopped because my driver was a devout Muslim and had to complete prayer number four out of the five prayers a day. Within seconds of stopping he had his prayer rug in hand and white prayer skullcap on the back of his head and trekked up a sand dune looking for the best spot to plant his rug and pray east, toward the holy city of Mecca in Saudi Arabia.

The original pipe from the oil rig

The Darvaza Gas Craters are a very quirky place and is to Turkmenistan as the Sydney Opera House is to Australia in terms of “must see attractions”. Back in the Soviet days, pre-1991, the area that is now the Darvaza Gas Craters was an oil and natural gas field. In 1971 during a drilling expedition Soviet geologists tapped into a natural gas filled cavern. After tapping into this natural gas vain, a sinkhole developed subsequently swallowing up the entire gas well operation! In typical Soviet style, they felt the best way to remedy the situation was to burn the gas off. To this day the gas crater continues to burn endlessly resembling what can only be described as hell on earth!

The Hardcore Traveler in front of the Darvaza Gas Craters

I had heard and read a lot about the gas craters and was anxious to see it with my own eyes. Since there were no warning signs or fences around the crater I got within about six feet and looked right over into the burning crater. I’ve seen a lot of weird things in my life on my travels, but Darvaza Gas Craters had to have ranked near to, if not at the top of that list. It was creepy, weird, out of this world, and just plain odd all at the same time. I circled around crater getting a close up view and feel! It felt VERY hot and smelled of course like natural gas. The heat and the smell of gas would come in waves. One moment I stood there freezing, the next moment I would get a wave of nasty smelling gas and heat. It was like a gigantic gas fireplace in the middle of the desert. Since the craters opened up (as in actually opened up!) there have been numerous rumors that the Turkmen government will cap them and thus do away with one of Turkmenistan’s most well known attractions! However, there has been no action to date.

Our Turkmen BBQ

Our barbeque or shashlik was absolutely delicious! Plus afterward for dessert we had a ready made fire to roast our s’mores in : ) ! Nah, we didn’t do that, we were so cold we wanted to get the hell (no pun intended) out of there as quickly as possible. Our next stop would be about four hours way up north in the city of Dashaguz near the Uzbekistan border. Stay tuned for my next installment, DWU or Driving While Uzbek! Thanks for reading!